“You’re really pretty for a black girl.”
For a black girl?
At first, the words just hung there. I couldn’t even react, but the words slowly began to resonate in my mind. When I finally allowed myself to process the backhanded compliment, I wasn’t hurt; I was angry. I had been placed in some fictitious box because of the color of my skin.
It wasn’t the audacity of the comment that made me upset, it was the individual’s complete obliviousness to what they had said. Therein lies the problem.
That person, whether were conscious of it or not, had an elitist mentality.
Somehow, black women are inherently unattractive because they don’t measure up to the status quo and that person was doing me a favor by letting me know that I was considered attractive by someone outside of my race.
I don’t believe the person who made the comment meant any harm. That person probably thought they made my day with such a “nice” compliment.
In the end, I simply told the individual that they needed to get a better perspective on life because beauty comes in all skin tones and they were being extremely narrow-minded.
It was all the patience I had for at that moment, but if nothing else, I hope that it was enough to get that person thinking to choose words carefully next time before speaking.