My great grandmother was a strict, cool woman that was never without a hat and a pair of calf-skin gloves. She was impeccably dressed–usually in one of her many designer ensembles that she held in the same esteem as a Rodeo Drive knock off. Her personality was just as sharp as her impossibly high cheekbones and perfectly polished nails. There were few things I took away from my visits with Joan. She was hardly the cuddling type and would rather see me go to bed hungry than eat a plate of pasta improperly. However in my travels I have come to value the singular shred of usuable advice she spared. “A woman with nothing more than a pretty face is seen for a night but easily forgotten. But a woman with wit and charisma is remembered.” Little did I know that I would put her words to the test as an adult then write a post chronicling the results.
For those looking to rub elbows with the elites both at home and aboard I say to you what Joan said to me as a child. Be witty. Be quick. Be clever. Be elegant. But more importantly, be a woman. Here from me to you are my time tested tips and pointers for socializing with the finest and brightest.
1. Never underestimate the power of apparel! Seemingly obvious though often given little thought, young women across the globe forfeit modesty for that shock factor achieved by flaunting as much skin as possible. I stress this for the same reasons my great grandmother did. Just like our actions and words, our choice in apparel speaks volumes of who we are. As I spent my days dallying around the streets of London, Bordeaux, and Paris it came to my attention almost immediately that not a one of the youths was dressed in an obscene manner. From the secondary school seniors smoking outside various nigtclubs in London to friends at lunch in Nantes none dared to wear the flimsy crop tops and barely there short-shorts American girls don with such confidence.
This was strongly apparent when I attended a certain soiree with a pair of lovely boys born to a certain European plutocrat one summer evening. While I was hardly the only American at this event I was by far the youngest. Fixed in my favorite red Kate Spade dress and hand-me-down pearls and leather pumps I did not look the part of a college student displaced from her Californian home. Although I admit it was hard to accept some of the guests pointed comments about American culture in general, it was painful when I learned how low their expectations are for young women living in the States. Part of me wanted to jump the primly dressed men and women and defend my yankee roots. However I knew that their opinions were, in part, justified. For those of you who are hot under the collar ask yourself this: when was the last time you saw a pair of shorts end mid-thigh? Do you really feel comfortable wearing a skirt you can’t move in because it will flash your nether regions if you do?
Now although I could go on and on about my opinion regarding modern dress (and I will in a different post) the point here is that before others weigh your words, they weigh your appearance. That micro-mini may seem like a good idea stateside but from a global point of view, it is vulgar and no boy wants to take Miss Daisy Dukes out to the Royal Opera.
Dress to IMPRESS ladies, Not to Shock. Think of it like a game of cards. You don’t want to give it all away and lose the hand. Play things smart, bide your time and let them do the work. Trust me, it is far more amusing watching men admire your poise and elegance than your ability to dance in five inch stilettos without having a wardrobe malfunction.
2. Wits Stick. Actions are fleeting. Aside from apparel, your words and ability to use them with skill should be the next weapon of choice in your arsenal when making nice with the elites. Now more than ever women are expected to be well groomed educationally speaking. That or we are expected to be well articulated and capable of carrying a stimulating conversation by the age of eighteen.
While attending my red dress event I found myself schmoozing with some illustrious characters; some of which I did not know were illustrious until that very evening. Great Grandmother Joan’s words echoed in my mind at that moment more than ever. Jumping from topic to topic with ease it was clear that wit and self-education held the same prevalence as attire. Naturally people adjust their level of communication in accordance with the crowd. Yet even at the lowest levels there is some degree of higher functioning.
To keep a long explanation short and simple, mind your words girls and be prepared to elaborate on your stance where opinions are concerned. When speaking in conversation be sure you have all your facts straight because nothing compares to the humiliation of being proven horribly wrong. I have seen this happen to friends numerous times and more often than not it could have been avoided. If you do not know what the discussion is about, ask and you shall be gleefully educated. Or you can refrain from interjecting until a topic arises that you know well enough of to comment. Some of the best conversations I have had are opened with quirky anecdotes that correlate to the subject matter. But most importantly you do not want to be the “Yeah? Um. Really? Totally! How Interesting” Girl.
3. Banter is to socializing as air is to breathing. Teasing and poking harmless fun and your companies expense is crucial. Though too much of this playful chitchat can bring about problems the right amount can lead to the opening of metaphorical doors for you later on. This tip is tied directly with the second about wit. As you maintain a conversation with the weight of your intellect taking the brunt of it, your humor will give the discussion a sense of lightness and companionship. People are more likely to remember strangers that make them laugh as opposed to strangers that talk brass all night long. In short, be sassy but keep it classy!
Now these are only a few of the many tips I could give however I feel these will take you ladies the furthest. But be sure to remember that the best thing you can wear or keep on you at ALL TIMES is your honest self. Don’t seek to impress others and be someone you are not. Do, however, be bright and vibrant and confident. And be sure to flash that knowing smile.
Stay lovely and stay strange
Your liaison,
-Mars M.J.S.
