Professor finds purpose in and out of the classroom
It was 2010 in Stillwater, Okla., when Angela Belden sat in front of a three-member panel at Oklahoma State University defending her dissertation about the cumulative effects of TV on body image.
As intense as the moment was, her mind was also juggling the anticipation of becoming a mother.
A few hours later, she was greeted by her examiners as “Dr. Belden.” A few days later, she was greeted as mom.
“I defended my dissertation on a Tuesday and met my children on Friday,” she said. “It was a big week for me, but it was amazing.”
Now a psychology professor at Pierce College, Belden teaches research methods in behavioral sciences and statistics for the social sciences. She is also a wife and a mother of four adopted boys.
Belden always knew she wanted children. Ever since high school, adoption was on her to-do list. But as a young lesbian in the early 2000s, Belden realized that building a family would not be as straightforward as she once imagined.
Initially, Belden and her wife explored fertility treatments in Florida, but she said they were met with discrimination by these centers. She explained that a fertility clinic asked them, “So who’s going to be the mother?”
Frustrated but determined, the couple packed their bags and moved to California, where they found a more accepting environment.
“I had never actually stepped foot in the state of California when I accepted a job in California,” Belden said. “But it all worked out. And we immediately started taking parenting classes.”
Once in California, the couple joined a support group for LGBTQ+ individuals looking to start families. Through that group, they realized that biological children may not be the best for their situation. Instead, they found a calling in foster care and adoption.
“Through our journey, we decided that biological kids weren’t in the cards for us,” Belden said. “And so we stopped that piece of the journey and kept on the foster piece.”
When Belden and her wife were matched with their first two boys, they sought advice from social workers on what their idea of family would look like. What they heard deeply resonated with them.
“They wanted active people,” Belden said. “They wanted people who were interested in nature, people who were willing to do boy things, whatever that means. My wife and I are both very active.”
In the span of a week, Belden defended her dissertation and met three of her children for the first time. Less than a year later, they got a call that their sons’ biological brother had just been born. A few hours later, they had a newborn in their home.
“We went from zero to three kids in one day, and then, 11 months later, got a call—’Your boys have a brother. Do you want him?’ And 27 hours later, we had a newborn at our doorstep,” she recalled.
As their family grew, so did their understanding of adoption. Belden and her wife made it important to be open with their children about their story to make sure adoption was never a taboo topic in their household.
“When you have four siblings and you’re very close in age, I mean, for half the year they’re two years apart. You know, we don’t shy away from the adoption part of their story,” she said.
Belden believes that acknowledging her children’s biological roots is important. She and her wife make space to discuss their children’s birth family to ensure they feel connected to their story.
“And so sometimes, like maybe on Mother’s Day or Father’s Day, I might, you know, pick up some mini cupcakes or something and say, ‘I’m just thinking about your biological mom and thinking about what a gift she’s given me, right? Because she had three, four amazing kids and I now get the privilege of raising you,” she said.
Belden’s friends said they admire her abilities in academia and interpersonal relationships. Adrian Youhanna, a geographic information systems professor at Pierce and a close friend, has seen this firsthand.
“She’s your gal,” Youhanna said. “I mean, she’s just very creative. She is just good at coordinating and organizing. She’s such a mom.”
Maria Perser, a fellow psychology professor at Pierce and another friend, also admires Belden’s ability to connect to her creativity.
“She’s warm. She’s kind. She’s generous,” Perser said. “She’s the type of person who loves to try new things. She’s always thinking, ‘What’s a different way we could do this?’ She’s the type of person who likes to bring things to the table. And she’s the type of person who likes to bring people together.”
Over the years, Belden has embraced the challenges and joys of parenthood. She acknowledged the struggles of raising teenagers, but she also celebrates the love and bond they share.
Belden shares much of what she’s learned through the foster youth program at Pierce and volunteers to speak with people in these programs.
“I’m not going to sit here and say, ‘Oh yeah, parenting is so easy. It’s smooth sailing, there’s never any bumps in the road,’” she said. “Of course there are bumps, and it doesn’t matter if you have biological children or adopted children, right? There are bumps in the road, like in life. Things happen and you just have to figure it out.”
